Tuesday, August 24, 2010

feeling fragile

OK, I have not gone for a ride this week. I am on jury duty and I was crushed by the responsibility of being on time. No margin for error, no room for a flat tyre. BoaB is away and I have no back up, so I stayed home, caught the bus to the city, went to the court on time and did my duty.

I am lucky I guess that it was a case where nobody died, or was even badly hurt. 'Easy' it seemed, to listen and weigh and find a verdict. But it wasn't, it was hard. I am too empathetic, and too clinical. I need data. I am analytical. At the end of the day, for reasons I can't recall someone made a joke about dooring cyclists (and this had NOTHING to do with the trial) and I burst into tears. I guess I was all done in. I don't suppose 11 other people will look at cyclists again the same way, and that is a good thing.

I did my best, we all did. Back to work tomorrow, but I need a long ride on the way. I have to give a lecture at 11, I wonder what I will say? I am totally unprepared to talk about datums. Life is just so complicated. 4 weeks to go on jury duty.

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